Painful Love
by UnKnowning10
Summary: Merlin and Arthur are in the forest, they discover something that will change their lives forever.EnJoY.Slash.
1. Painful Love

Chapter one – I Love Him

Arthur lay awake, facing the pavilion roof, while Merlin put his freshly polished armour away, neatly. His thoughts trailed off to the day before. _He was in his father's chambers pacing in wait for him to arrive. He stopped abruptly when the door opened to reveal his father, weary and tired._

_He shifted into the room and closed the door quickly behind him, almost as though he was trying to hide from somebody, then turned to face Arthur,_

"_There have been reports of King Freidan's men coming forth to Camelot in act of war" Uther said quickly "They have been spotted in the forest of behlong on horseback, and they are approaching quickly, I want you and your men to ride out and meet them"_

"_Yes father" Arthur said astonished _

"_Oh and take your servant with you, he might be of use to you, he needn't be in any use here" Uther added_

"_What! ... Merlin? ... Father you can't be-" _

_Then Arthur looked up into his father's face and saw he was very serious. _

"_Oh alright then" he said finally, after a few moments silence, then left the room to gather up his men._

_An hour later he dismissed his men to get supplies and say goodbye to their loved ones, and he himself walked up to his chambers to order Merlin to pack his clothes and anything else he would be needing._

_When he arrived in his chambers Merlin was stood by the window facing the door with Arthur's bag already full of the things he would need._

"_You'll be needing to pack too" he said, not meeting Merlin's eyes. "My father insisted on you coming" Trying to hold back a laugh Arthur looked up at the troubled and worried look on Merlin's face and his insides squirmed unpleasantly. As Merlin left, a wonderful thought filled Arthur's mind, Merlin would be by his side day and night._

_Arthur smiled at this thought, collected up his bag, which Merlin had dumped on the bed before leaving, and strolled down and out of the castle to collect his horse._

_All of his men were already awaiting him when he stepped out into the court yard. Merlin joined him moments later, walking absently from the stables, two horses trotting along behind him, one was dark brown with a startling white stripe settled along the bridge of the horses nose, big pointy ears produce from the top of its head and it's abnormally long legs held a very gangly framed body. The other was Arthur's own horse, Layla, now she was way more elegant, her muscular figure covered in snowy white fur, the tip of her nose painted black with a leathery look to it and her head held high, her startling black eyes staring straight ahead. _

_Arthur took Layla's reins and without a word of thanks to Merlin he climbed up and began riding, indicating his men to do the same._

oOoOo

Arthur was brought out of his thoughts by the sound of voices shouting.

"Sire.... sire" Merlin said, pulling at his arm,

"Sire... we're being attacked, hurry... I need to get you into your armour"

Merlin hurriedly shoved Arthur into his armour, arranged his own so it fit better, then passed Arthur his sword, grabbing one for himself, and hurried into the commotion outside.

Merlin wasn't lying, all around them was a mixture of both Camelot's and King Freidan's men locked in battle. Arthur turned to his side to look at Merlin but he wasn't there, he had disappeared, and was nowhere in sight. Arthur felt his heart start to race as he fought his way to find Merlin.

oOoOo

Camelot was winning, and there were very few of King Freidan's men left, so they retreated and Camelot's men followed in last attempt to kill the stragglers. It's all over thought Arthur, then he was knocked to the ground. Not knowing how he got to be lying on his front in deep, chocolate mud, he turned onto his back and lay there staring up into a face very unfamiliar to him. The man's sword was pointed at his heart; Arthur knew it was over for him, he was to die at the hand of some unknown stranger, he closed his eyes and wondered whether death would come quick and painless, he breathed heavily.

Then it came, and it _was_ painful, as though someone large and heavy had just fallen on him, he opened his eyes slowly, and in fact someone had fallen onto him, a sword wound pressed deep into the man's back. Arthur let his head fall back in relief.

He lifted it again moments later and saw Merlin stood over him a look of shock on his face, his sword pointed downwards at the bloody wound in the man's back.

"You k- k-killed him, you s-s-saved me" Arthur stuttered half astonished and half touched.

oOoOo

Merlin didn't say anything but held out his hand to help him, Arthur sluggishly pushed the large, heavy man off him and grabbed Merlin's awaiting hand, as soon as his fingers met Merlin's warm, soft palm, shivers shot through Arthur's body like lightning. Then Merlin pulled him to his feet.

Merlin pulled with so much force that they stood there, closer to one another than either of them had ever been before, close enough to feel each other's, heaving breaths. In that moment Arthur noticed that Merlin's eyes were a dazzling, sapphire blue, that his lips where as red as a rose, and his hair as black as night, of course Arthur had noticed this before but something about how the moon shone onto Merlin's hair and pale white face made Arthurs mouth go dry. They stood there in silence, gazing into one another eyes, then Arthur moved in closer, unable to hold back any longer, Merlin tried to step back, or say No or anything that would stop Arthur coming in any closer but it didn't seem to work, his muscles had tensed and his mouth dry, all he could do was stand there, staring at Arthur as his lips got closer and closer to his own.

Then finally they touched and Arthur's lips tasted as sweet as wine, Merlin's heart beated a little faster as Arthur gently slid his hands up to cup Merlin's face, his fingers resting on his cheek bones and before Merlin knew what his was doing he was kissing Arthur back, his hands around Arthur's waist pulling him in to deepen the kiss. It was amazing; Arthur was a particularly good kisser.

oOoOo

They stood there kissing, only breaking apart for breath, Arthur slid one of his hands up Merlin's T-Shirt and up Merlin's back, it was surprisingly warm and made Merlin shuddered. Arthur felt very proud of himself, his touch made Merlin shudder, but there wasn't time to think about how this amused Arthur because Merlin had pulled away, tucked his T-Shirt back into his trousers and was smoothing down his hair, a faint pink blush painted his face, neck and to Arthur's amusement the tips of Merlin's ears.

Arthur looked at Merlin befuddled, what had made him stop, was it him? Did he do something wrong? No he can't have he reassured himself. Merlin was looking into the trees, as if someone were there, then he heard it, the crunching of fallen leaves, getting closer and closer, smoothing his hair down and pulling out his sword Arthur walked slowly further into the forest followed closely by Merlin, then all of a sudden they found themselves surrounded by the Knight's Of Camelot.

" Ahhh sire, it's you, we thought it was one of King Freidan's men, well one of the few that got away that is" said Sir James Alan and all the knights laughed, even Arthur though he wasn't quite sure why.

oOoOo

The journey back to Camelot was quite, Arthur had insisted upon it, he said that it would draw less attention to themselves as this particular forest was exceptionally well ripened with berries and mushrooms and all different kinds of herbs that servants would be sent to collect. When they finally arrived back in Camelot Arthur slid off his horse, left it for Merlin to put away, then walked up the steps and into the great hall to announce his return and success.

oOoOo

His father sat slightly slouched in his throne, but immediately sat himself straight when he noticed that Arthur was walking slowly towards him.

"My son" He said in a proud voice "Is it done, did we succeed"

"Yes father" Replied Arthur "Some got away but I think that is for the best, they won't be bothering us again"

"Good" Said Uther Relived "Well done my son, you should rest I take it you are tired from your long journey, I will send a maid to collect you when the feast is ready"

"Yes, Thank You Father" yawned Arthur and with that he strode out of the great hall and up to his chambers. When he pulled open the doors to his chamber he saw Merlin hurriedly unpacking Arthur's clothes he had worn the days they were camping in the forest of Behlong and put them in, what Arthur recognised as, the cleaning basket, he then cleared and cleaned the table, then he remade the bed and turned it down ready for Arthur to climb in and rest.

oOoOo

Merlin felt really nervous, as Arthur's gaze burned into the back of his head whilst he went about his daily chores. Once he had carefully but swiftly turned the Princes bed down he turned and tried to make a quick exit, so that he didn't have to talk about the previous events of the forest otherwise he was sure to lose his temper. As he reached the door he heard Arthur speak.

"Bring me up some water will you, I think I might die of thirst" Arthur said in a very timid voice.

"Oh ermm .... yes sire" Merlin stuttered and he staggered out of Arthur's chambers and down to the kitchens. When he returned with the jug of water Arthur was sat in the chair at the table his chainmail and armour thrown untidily onto the unoccupied chair nearest to the fire.

'Clean my armour and polish my sword' Arthur ordered slowly picking up the messy pile of amour.

"Yes sire" Merlin mumbled then he walked slowly over to Arthur, gently set the jug on the table then took the armour from Arthur, careful not to brush his hand against the Princes, then turned and heading for the door. Once again he was stopped abruptly by Arthur.

"Where do you think you're going" said Arthur slightly irritated

"I'm going clean your armour and polish your sword sire" he said nervously

'Oh so you do listen from time to time' provoked Arthur, for which he received a glare from Merlin.

'If you're going to be like that then you can sit here and do it, then I can make sure you do a decent job this time'.

'Yes sire" said Merlin through gritted teeth.

He turned and sat at the table and began the work immediately, Arthur's eyes on him the whole time. When he had finally finished he put it neatly away and headed for the door once more.

"Where do yo-"Arthur began

"Why did you do that" Merlin interrupted

"Do what" Arthur said curiosity filling his eyes.

"The forest ... you ermm ... Oh you know what I mean" Merlin snapped furiously.

Merlin thought that Arthur didn't hear him first, he just got up from his seat and headed for the door, then he said " Don't worry about it, just go" "NOW" he added sternly.

Merlin didn't move, but just stood there staring at Arthur in astonishment.

"Not until you tell me why you kissed me" Merlin said in the bravest voice he could muster.

Arthur looked taken aback, as though Merlin had just said something intelligent, his cheeks burned a light crimson, and he took long slow strides towards Merlin, stopping dead when he reached him, reaching out a hand he cupped Merlin's face, Merlin looked away, that wasn't the answer he was looking for. Arthur pulled Merlin towards him for another kiss, but Merlin stepped back and stared at the floor.

oOoOo

He couldn't let this happen, _'Arthur's The Crowned Prince Of Camelot and I'm just a lowly Manservant'_ He thought.

oOoOo

Arthur looked at him with hunger and longing in his eyes.

Arthur just didn't understand, here he was trying to show Merlin how he felt and he just stepped away and stared into blankness ... _'Is it because Merlin is nervous?' ... 'Is it because he doesn't like me'. _

'_No'_ Thought Arthur '_He kissed me back so he must feel the same way? Right?'_ Arthur was confused.

He was brought out of his thoughts when he saw Merlin staring him straight in the eyes, so he stared back. Merlin's eyes didn't portray any of his feeling's, instead all Arthur could see was a sort of glassy and distant look in them.

'Merlin, what's the matter' the Prince said anxiously.

Merlin's glare answered, _'maybe I shouldn't have kissed him, maybe it was all a mistake, he hates me, I can see it in his eyes, he hates me, HE HATES ME!' _is all that rushed through Arthur's mind.

Merlin watched as the prince's face went through array of emotions, confusion, nervousness, hurt, sadness then finally came to rest on regret. Arthur, The Crowned Prince Of Camelot was regretting, Merlin never thought he'd see the day.

oOoOo

'Arthur, why did you kiss me' Merlin said raising his voice, Arthur knew the tone, Merlin wanted an answer, and, the prince knew from experience, he would get one.

'I-I... I don't know' the Prince lied. Arthur watched Merlin's look of anger disappear only to be replaced by one of confusion.

'You kiss me and you don't even know why' Merlin asked, voice laced with confusion and irritation. The prince simply nodded, and Merlin knew that was the best he was going to get so he turned and without a word or glace at Arthur left, taking the laundry basket with him.

oOoOo

Arthur stood frozen to the spot; he didn't think Merlin would give up so easily. Arthur's mind kept playing back the kiss, Merlin's intoxicating smell, his soft lips, his firm but smooth touch. Merlin, _his_ Merlin-

Wait a second Merlin was not his, Merlin had pulled away when he had tried to show him how he felt; Merlin had demanded an answer when it was quite clear why Arthur had kissed him. Why was Merlin so blind as to see what was right in front of him, Arthur didn't go around kissing just anybody, but maybe that's what Merlin thought, maybe Merlin thought Arthur went around kissing people for fun.

'_No', _he thought '_why did Merlin have to be so god damn cute, stupid cute, why did I have to go and kiss the idiot, why do I always think of him, why am I always sad and down when he's not around, and why does my heart hurt so much, it's not like I lo-'_

"Oh My God I Love Merlin" Arthur voiced out loud as realisation dawned on him.


	2. Truly Special

**I'm sorry for the late posting, I had writers block, never a good thing,anyway here is Chapter 2 hope you enjoy =D**

Chapter Two – Truly Special

The servant's worriedly glanced at the prince as he tore down the halls, his sights set on one place, Morgana's Chamber's. He had to tell someone and his most trusted friend and half sister Morgana was the perfect choice. She would listen to him, help him and tell him what he must do to win Merlin's heart-

'_Wait... what, win Merlin's heart, no, no, no, this is all wrong, that was forbidden, a man loving a man is considered a sin here in Camelot and most probably in other kingdoms too.' _He thought _'but why does it feel so right, so good so-so-so Normal. When me and Merlin had kissed it was the most amazing thing, no-one I have ever kissed had that much of an effect on me, I felt sparks when my lips first met his, it was electrifying, I felt as if I were flying, as if it were only me and Merlin in the entire world. Now if that wasn't good and pure then I don't know what is.'_

He brought himself out of his thoughts just time enough to knock on the door to Morgana's Chamber's.

At the sound of the door creaking open Arthur looked up from the floor and into the curious eyes of Morgana.

"_Arthur what is it you could possibly want at this time of day" _Morgana said with a face as hard as stone. As she looked closer she could see that the Prince was distressed by something, his face a picture of hurt and pain so she softened her expression to one of welcoming and intrigue.

" _Arthur, are you alright, come in, and let's talk"_ she said in a voice that oddly calmed him. 

He hesitated at first but thought nothing of it when Morgana gently tugged at his wrist encouraging him to enter.

She gracefully lead him to the two crimson armchairs by the fire, and sat down, insisting he do the same. Arthur slumped down into the chair, put his head in his hands and closed his eyes. _'This is going to be harder than I anticipated' _He thought.

OoOoO

Morgana sat quietly as she watched the Princes every movement, it saddened her that the Prince was so distressed that he'd come to talk to her about it.

Although her and Arthur usually argued and teased each other, they both knew that the other would give their life for them without a second thought. Whenever Morgana had needed help she would always go to Arthur, well if it wasn't to do with her magic dreams then she would, and she always hoped that the Prince knew that it was the same for him if he wanted. So she was so glad that he had put so much trust in her.

Her heart sank when she saw the Prince shaking, and she reached out her hand and placed it on Arthur's knee in encouragement.

'_Arthur'_ she said calmly, and he immediately looked up _'please tell me what is upsetting you' _she said, the concern in her voice reaching her eyes.

The Prince took a deep breath before starting his tale.

OoOoO

Arthur closed his eyes and waited for the hand he was sure would hit him hard across the face, but it never came, instead he was pulled into a tight embrace in which he could only hug back and let the tears fall.

After what seemed like hours Morgana pulled away from the hug, took Arthur tightly by the shoulders and looked him straight in the eyes.

'_Don't worry I will have a little chat with Merlin and find out what's going on'_ she said, determination shining in her eyes.

'_You would do that for me?' _Arthur said amazed, as he wiped at his tear stained cheeks _'but why?' _

'_Because, Arthur, I can't have the future king coming to my chambers at this time of day and crying in my arms, people would think something is going on, and you're the closest thing I have to a brother, and I care about you, and if you tell anyone I said that I will deny it'_

Arthur was speechless so instead of words he embraced Morgana in a hug he hoped said everything he wanted to say. When he pulled away he placed a light, feathery kiss on her cheek then thanked her and left the room feeling so much lighter than he did when he walked in.

OoOoO

The moon glanced in through the tiny window of Merlin's room, setting a silvery light across his snow white skin, illuminating his midnight hair and dancing in his clear, sea blue eyes creating twinkling little stars in his irises. A feathery knock on the door brought Merlin out from whatever trance he was in.

"_Come in" _he all but whispered, still non-moving.

A quite creak and a glimpse of shiny silver hair told Merlin it was Gauis, again.

"_I'm not hungry and no I don't want to talk about it" _Merlin grumbled and rolled over to lay on his front so he could bury his head in his pillow.

'_The Lady Morgana wishes to see you Merlin you could at least make yourself a little more presentable' _Gaius's rough voice answered. Merlin shot up from his position on his stomach and turned so he sat crossed legged on his bed facing an amused looking Morgana, perched in his doorway.

'_I would like to talk to him alone, if that is alright with you Gaius'_ she announced quietly.

'_Of course Milady , that is no problem at all, I was just on my way out to gather some herbs I need for the Prince's muscle salve' _With a neat bow and a nod of the head to Merlin he was gone.

Silence engulfed the room, the light from the candle playing shadows against the walls, bright green eyes stared into clear sea blue, the curiosity bubbling on the surface, questions dying to burst free, but Morgana started on a more normal subject.

'_Hello Merlin, how are you?'_ she said all but calmly.

'_I'm good, thank you milady, and yourself?' _Merlin answered uncertainly

'_Yes I'm fine, Thank you Merlin, and please call me Morgana, Milady makes me sound so superior' _she grinned.

'_Ermm, ok, what is it you wanted to see me about?'_ he said shyly

'_Arthur told me'_ she spoke slyly and with a huge grin on her face.

'_And what did he tell you Milady?' _Merlin said curiosity lacing his voice.

'_The Kiss'_ she simply stated.

'_Oh' _was Merlin's only reply before he turned crimson and ducked his head.

'_Arthur Loves you, it's a bit idiotic that he only just realised, but he Loves you, my question is do you love him back?'_

Merlin's astonished face told her that he had no clue that Arthur loved him, and that it came as a huge shock.

'_A-A-Arthur L-Loves M-Me' _he stuttered

'_Yes, do you love him?' _Morgana questioned.

Then Merlin burst out into tears, Morgana didn't know what she had said to upset Merlin but she comforted him anyway. When he had calmed down and stopped crying he finally spoke.

'_I'm gay' _he said boldly.

'_I'll admit I have feelings for Arthur but nothing can ever happen between us, I don't want to ruin our friend ship and I don't want to get hurt again'_ he sobbed.

'_Wait, what, again, who hurt you before?' _she questioned

Merlin's eyes filled with tears as he told Morgana about his best friend, Will, who he had fallen in love with, and who had rejected him and pushed him away when Merlin had finally plucked up the courage to tell him.

The he hesitated.

'_Merlin tell me, please, I will not judge you, I promise'_ she encouraged

Then Merlin told her about his abusive relationship with one of the knights of Camelot, which he did not name. He told her how he used to beat Merlin if he pushed him away; how he would try and force Merlin to do things he didn't want to do; how he once tried to Rape Merlin and how Merlin had been kicked and beaten and told that he never wanted to see him again.

All Morgana could do was try to keep the shocked look off her face. Obviously she didn't do a good job of hiding her feelings. So she decided to comfort Merlin instead.

After a while Merlin's sobs eased and what escaped his mouth next was not at all what Morgana had been expecting.

'_I'm a Sorcerer'_ he all but breathed

Morgana didn't pull back from the hug as Merlin thought she would, she did the exact opposite, she hugged him even tighter and stroked his hair, so he took that as a sign to carry on.

'_I was born like this, and I have been learning more since I arrived at Camelot. I've only ever used my magic to save Arthur's life and do some of Arthur's chores, I never use it for anything else, I'm not evil Morgana, I'm not'_ he was rambling again.

'_I know Merlin but why didn't you tell me before?'_ she questioned.

'_Because magic is banned in Camelot and Uther will have my head if he finds out and your his ward and Arthur's his son and I didn't know how you would react and please please don't tell Arthur, I don't know what he will do if he finds out, he will probably tell the king, and I couldn't bare to see the look on his face it will break my heart then I would die-'_

'_Hush Merlin it's ok, I understand and don't you think your over exaggerating a little about what will happen if you tell Arthur, I mean you won't die' _ she assured him.

'_I will'_ he replied with a half hearted chuckle.

'_What I don't understand?' _she argued.

'_I was born with my Core inside of me _he said_ a core is a sorcerer's main source of magic, without a core one wouldn't have magic and, if you are born with magic, die. Cores are usually made of stone or jewels, but mine isn't, mine is made of flesh._

_My Core is my heart. It is very unheard of even in the magical world; my mum says I'm Truly Special._

_The only way to fully kill a sorcerer is to destroy their core, with me the same rule applies-_

'_So to kill you all it takes is for someone to break your heart' _Morgana cut in.

'_Or pierce my heart, but basically yeah' _He finished

'_Oh my Merlin, I don't know what to say'_ Morgana's shocked expression changed to one of sympathy.

'_You don't mind that I'm a Sorcerer?'_ he asked

'_No, Not really, I had my suspicions, and well I'm a seer so, I can't really judge you now can I'_ she answered calmly.

'_Yeah, I'm so sorry for not telling you, I really am' _

'_Merlin, really it's ok, I understand'_

'_Thank you Morgana you truly are a great friend'_ he smiled

'_Same to you Merlin'_ she smiled in return _'is that why you won't tell Arthur you love him, because you're afraid of getting hurt and dying'_

'_No, I'm afraid he will reject me when I tell him what I am, then I will get hurt and die and leave him unprotected'_ Merlin corrected with worry and a smidge of hurt in his eyes.

'_Why are you so set on protecting Arthur and from what exactly?'_

'_From magical monsters and other sorcerer's and sorceresses that want him and Uther dead and Protecting Arthur and Camelot is my Destiny' _he said proudly.

'_Who told you it was your destiny to protect Arthur and Camelot'_

'_The Great Dragon'_

'_What Dragon'_

'_The Dragon the king locked in the caves under the castle during the time of the great purge, Right that reminds me, I'm also a Dragon Lord'_

'_You're a Dragon Lord?' _Morgana said astonished.

'_Yep, from my father's side, when he died the power got passed onto me'_ Merlin said with a pained expression on his face.

'_How do you know all this, I thought you never met your father'_

'_When I and Arthur went to look for the Dragon Lord to rid us of the Dragon that attacked Camelot'_

_Oh, when did you meet your father?'_

'_My father was Balinor, the Dragon Lord we went looking for, Gauis told me before we left. On our way back to Camelot I told Balinor that his was my father and I his son, that's when he told me that I would be the next and last Dragon Lord, so later on when we were attacked and he died, I became the Last and only Dragon Lord'_ he finished breathlessly.

'_Oh Merlin, I'm ever so sorry, did Arthur know?'_

'_No, if I'd have told him then he would know that it was me that set the Great Dragon free and that I was a Sorcerer' _

'_You set the Dragon free?' _Morgana said, shocked.

'_Yes, I had to, I swore on my mother's life I would, I know I shouldn't have, but I needed his help to save Arthur, and he said he would only help if I swore on my mother's life to free him, so I did, I wouldn't have set him free if Arthur's life wasn't in danger' _Merlin pleaded.

'_It's alright Merlin, Arthur killed it'_

'_Ermm, he didn't kill him'_

'_Him, Who's Him?'_

'_The Dragon, he's a male called kilgarra, and I speared him, I sent him away and banished him, never to return to Camelot, and never to hurt another ever again, he had to listen to me, cause I'm a Dragon Lord, my heart is connected to his through our magic'_

'_This is a lot to take in, how many times have you saved Arthur's life exactly?'_

'_27 so far, including yesterday'_

'_27, and what happened yesterday'_ she asked, shock, curiosity and worry etched onto her beautiful face.

'_After we fought with King __Freidan's men I went looking for Arthur, when I found him he was lying on the ground covered in mud with a man stood over him, a sword pointing to his heart, so I simply ran him through with my sword'_ Merlin finished proudly.

'_Then you helped Arthur up and then he kissed you'_ Morgana finished chuckling at the surprised look on Merlin's face.

'_If you already knew what happened why did you ask me?'_

'_Because I wanted you to tell me your side of events, so I could compare them to the ones Arthur told me, and there the same, so how bout you tell me how bad a kisser Arthur was?'_ she teased.

At that Merlin went red, turned away and muttered_ 'I don't want to talk about it'_

'_Why'_ Morgana's curiosity got the better of her.

'_Because it was a mistake which will never happen again, now if you don't mind Milady I would like to get some rest after the long journey home' _Merlin lied.

'_Oh, ok, sure'_ she said the hurt in her voice recognisable '_Goodbye Merlin' _and with that she got off the small bed, crossed the small room and left, shutting the door loudly on her way out.

oOoOo

As soon as Merlin heard the door to the physician's chamber close he rushed about his room collecting up everything he owned and packed it into his small bag, then he rushed from his room and into the main area of the chambers where he found Gaius at the table sorting through the herbs he just collected.

Gaius eyes followed him as he rushed about the room finding food and drink and blankets to take with him, he was just about to pack the last blanket when Gaius spoke.

'_Merlin, are you ok?'_ he asked

'_No, Gaius I'm not and that is why I'm leaving'_ and with that he tied his bag and headed for the door, his hand was just hovering above the handle when Gauis spoke again.

'_Why are you leaving m'boy?'_ was his question.

'_I can't deal with it anymore Gaius, I can't do it ok'_ the distress in Merlin's voice was very noticeable.

'_So you're going to run-'_

'_Yes I'm going run away from my problems Gaius, and please don't try to stop me, I don't want to have to hurt you Gaius'_ and with that he yanked the door open and tore down the corridor's but not without muttering a quick goodbye to Gaius.

oOoOo

Darkness surrounded her, all she could see was the blackness that was night, she could hear the wind whistling in the trees, and the crunching of leaves under feet, as someone came closer. _'Who's there' _a voice she recognises called out, it was not her own as she knew that she was, yet again, having a nightmare, but still the voice was familiar, silence once again engulfed the air surrounding her, her raspy breath the only sound. A cold chill slivered down her spine as warm air was breathed onto her neck; she turned, eyes darting about sharply looking for the source, only to be met by bright green eyes staring straight back at her. As she stumbled back, away from the floating green orbs, she tripped over, what felt like a foot, and fell hard to the floor, when she tried to get back up a hand placed itself roughly on her chest, clenched a fistful of her shirt and pulled her upright with ease.

'_W-w-who a-are y-ou?'_ she breathed.

Her question was met by three chuckles, one from in front of her, the other from behind and another from her left side. After a few seconds the chuckles where replaced by fists and feet, punching and kicking every part of flesh they could see. She cried out in pain as a shiny object slashed her across the face, then the leg then the stomach, that was when she recognised the voice, this person, being attacked and assaulted, was Merlin. The crack of bone hitting wood and blinding pain was the only indication that she had been thrown against a tree, and the laughter and crunching of retreating footsteps was the last sound she heard before she woke up, sweat plastered over her face, tears streaming from her eyes and her heart racing.

oOoOo

Her night dress fluttered behind her as she raced down the corridors toward Merlin's chambers. The sun shining through the windows was the only indication of morning. When she reached the battered brown door to the physician's chambers she did not hesitate, but rushed in and glanced about, only to find Gaius sat at the table with red puffy eyes.

'_Gaius, where is Merlin'_ she questioned the worry in her voice reaching her eyes as her body shook all over.

'_Gone, he said he can't do it anymore and went' _Gaius all but sobbed.

'_Where did he go Gaius?'_ she panicked

'_I don't know, but he's not going to come back, it's all my fault-' _Morgana didn't stay to listen to Gaius's ramblings, she had to tell Arthur.

She rushed to Arthur chambers, barged in without knocking, to find him fully clothed and sat at his table staring out the window.

'_Morgana, what's the matt-'_

'_Merlin, he's gone' _she breathed_ 'my dream, horrible, terrible things'_ she said breathlessly.

'_Morgana, calm down, breathe, then tell me'_ Arthur said trying to mask his worry and panic over the mention of Merlin's name.

Once she got her breath back she told Arthur all about her dream and what Gaius had just told her, she wasn't even finished when Arthur rushed from the room, grabbing his sword on his way out to find Merlin.

Arthur rushed through the dusty streets of Camelot, not caring what passerby's would think, only caring whether Merlin was still alive.

When he reached the stables, he was met by Leon, one of his most trusty knight's.

'_Good morning Sire, and where are you off to this morning?'_ his deep voice echoed in the stable house.

Arthur didn't pay any attention to Leon's question but spoke to the stable hand instead.

'_I need a horse saddled up and ready now'_ his voice stern and commanding.

With a deep bow and a nod of the head the stable hand set to work immediately, and was done within minutes. Before jumping up onto the horse Arthur turned to Leon and spoke.

'_I need you to come with me, without the questions, I will answer those later, I don't have time now'_

Leon agreed and hopped onto his already saddled horse and followed Arthur out of the city and into the forest.

They hadn't ridden far when they found Merlin's empty bag lying in the bushes.

'_Sire, isn't that your servant, Merlin's, bag_?'Leon questioned.

'_Yes, which means he is around here somewhere'_ Arthur answered and turned back to his horse, totally missing the look of confusion on Leon's face.

Five minutes later they found him, slumped up against a tree, bruises covered every visible piece of skin, both dry and wet blood covered his left cheek and leg, a huge ugly gash smothered with blood on his stomach. Arthur hurried over to the un-moving figure of Merlin, Leon following in toe. When they reached Merlin they saw no signs of life, Arthur bent down and shook Merlin gently by the shoulders, whilst calling to him.

'_Merlin, Wake up, Come on Merlin, Wake up'_

But still he did not move, Leon was frozen to the spot, staring down at the beaten and broken form before him, shock written over his face, but nothing compared to what Arthur was feeling.

_Merlin, His Merlin was dead._

And that's when it happened, a little bit of hope.

**I thought I'd leave it on a bit of a cliff hanger this time. Sorry for the very late posting, I had writers block, and my internet has been off for the last week so I haven't been able to do anything. Another chapter will be coming soon and maybe even a whole new story so keep watching this space. **

**Anyway hope you Enjoyed, please leave comments, feedback or anything you like. Thanks. **


	3. A Little Bit Of Hope

**Here's the next chappie Enjoy.**

**A Little Bit Of Hope!**

Merlin's chest moved, in and out, faintly, very faintly, but that little bit of hope, that little sign that Merlin was alive and he might live sent a bolt of relief through Arthur. He quickly lowered his ear to Merlin's mouth and listened intently, almost giggling when he felt Merlin's cold breath on his ear, tickling him.

"Leon, Ride forth and tell Gaius what state Merlin is in and tell him to prepare" Arthur ordered "I will mount Merlin onto my horse and I will ride back to Camelot as quick as I can, Now Go" Arthur's voice was very stern and Leon knew better to argue with the Prince when he was in rescue mode, so he did as his Prince ordered.

Once Leon was out of earshot Arthur let the tears, he had been holding back, fall. "Oh Merlin, Please, Please don't leave me, don't die, please" Arthur pleaded. It was stupid, he knew it was, Merlin couldn't hear him but it still gave him comfort in talking to Merlin even if he was telling Merlin to live and not die.

Merlin's fingers twitched which made Arthur jump back in surprise, and if the Prince let out a very girly squawk at that moment nobody heard. 'He's Alive, Merlin's alive and he can hear me!' Arthur screamed in his head. He hurried over to Merlin again and swiftly but very carefully lifted him up and placed him; so that he was laying on Layla's back then he mounted on after him. Securing Merlin was as comfortable and safe as possible the Prince set off at a gallop for Camelot and Merlin's only chance of living again, Gaius.

The prince's skill at riding a horse got him and Merlin to Camelot in record time. Moving quickly but carefully through the market streets, Arthur finally arrived at the castle entrance where he was met by Leon and Gaius.

Gaius hurried over to his ward, the worry and fear he saw in the Princes eyes made Gaius' heart beat faster, the Prince could usually mask his feeling's, but Gaius saw Arthur's emotions as clear as day which meant nothing good for Merlin. He led the way as Leon and Arthur carefully carried Merlin to his chambers.

Upon entering Gaius pointed to the bed in the corner, on which Leon and Arthur laid Merlin, then he hurriedly search for bandages and Arthur sent Leon to get some water and a rag, to clean Merlin's wounds.

"Is he going to be alright Gaius?" Arthur's shaky voice asked.

"I don't know Sire" Was Gaius' unsure reply.

At that moment Leon hurried in with a bowl of water and an old red rag and passed it to Gaius.

Gaius calmly walked over to Merlin as Arthur dismissed Leon and walked over to help Gaius remove Merlin's clothing. Gaius removed Merlin's shoes first; his feet were covered in bruises' and small cuts, he then removed Merlin's tunic to reveal every inch of Merlin's torso, apart from the deep, bloody gash, was covered in purple bruising that looked outstandingly horrible, much different to the usually pale and untouched skin that was there before.

Merlin had lost a lot of blood, and squirmed when Gaius attempted to clean his cuts and bruising to show the true extent of the damage done by whomever did this to _his_ Merlin. Arthur's blood boiled at the thought of someone, touching and hurting the frail, innocent being that now lie beaten and broken in front of him.

Once Merlin was clean, the purple bruising tainted Merlin's skin even more, and Arthur had to look away, tears pushing their way to the surface, with a hiss. He fought back the tears when a firm hand landed comfortingly on his shoulder.

"I need you to hold Merlin still while I stitch his wounds, and place on some ointment to stop the course of infection" Gaius' professional voice spoke quietly.

Arthur did as the physician asked, putting little weight on Merlin's frail but un-bruised shoulders. While Gaius threaded and sterilised the needle Arthur looked down into Merlin face, he looked at the shallow cut that placed itself, unwelcomed, on Merlin high cheek bone, sure to leave a scar. Eyes drifting down to his lips, chapped and cut from worrying teeth, as he was beaten. Then back up to his closed lidded eyes, dark lashes casting shadows over his angel like face; that was no more, angel like. His cuts and bruises, those a knight would receive in battle, made him look as though he had fallen from the heavens with broken wings.

Soft skin being pushed up into his hands brought him from his trance as Gaius started to stitch up Merlin's wounds; he applied a little more pressure.

When Gaius had finished applying the last of the ointment to Merlin's face, his eyes blinked open to reveal the beautiful Sapphire- blue orbs i so missed. When he saw me he tried to move away, instead hissing in pain his eyes went wide as he remembered the events of the forest and how he now came to be lying on the physician's bed with bruises covering his body.

"Stay still and i will get you something to ease the pain" Gaius' voice sounded from Merlin's right, and he did as he was asked not wanting to hurt himself anymore whilst looking at anything but Arthur.

Gaius returned with two small glass bottles of horrid looking potions.

"This" he said holding up a sickly green liquid "will help ease the pain" he then handed it to Merlin who downed it in one loud gulp and scrunched up his face at the foul taste.

"And this" Gaius said again this time holding up a murky brown coloured liquid "Will help you sleep, you're looking quite pale, from all the blood you've lost so sleep will do you a world of good" He said and handed the potion Merlin who took it reluctantly.

As the potion was just about to touch Merlin's lips Arthur spoke. "Who did this to you Merlin?" was Arthur simple question.

"I don't know i didn't see them" and with that he downed the potion, it took effect immediately, his lids fell heavily and his body became relaxed as he fell asleep without worry.

When Merlin awoke he heard distant voices, the room was a blur and his eyes took quite a while to adjust to the darkness that had fallen around him. As he full awakened the voices became clearer to the extent that he could work out that it was Gaius' and Arthur's voices he could hear. He was about to get out of bed when he heard his name being mentioned

"What has happened between you and Merlin?" Gaius' curios voice asked.

"I don't know?"

"Gaius what i'm about to tell you, you cannot tell any other living soul, understood?" Arthurs nervous tones replied

"Understood"

"Well, I erm"

Gaius could see that whatever the Prince had to tell him was important so he didn't rush him.

"Gaius, I, I think I might be In Love with Merlin" Arthur finally spluttered out, fear noticeable in his sky blue eyes.

"Well, that is not at all what i expected, exactly how did this happen?" Gaius asked calmly, the shock still slightly noticeable in his voice.

"I don't know, Gaius, I've been thinking a lot more about him since he drank the poison for me that time, and my feelings sort of grew from that, then i couldn't stop thinking about his beautiful eyes and his luscious, pink lips, and adorable pointy ears" the Prince wandered off into a fantasy world of his own, no doubt about the quality's and feature of his Manservant; his face captured in a dreamy expression.

Merlin couldn't actually believe it; Arthur had just confessed his love for him to Gaius, his Mentor.

Long after Arthur had left, Merlin was still in shock, Arthur the future King of Camelot, was in love with Him a lowly Manservant. Merlin felt giddy and was determined to show Arthur how he felt. At that moment Merlin felt extremely tired and decided he could show Arthur in the morning, for now he would rest and regain his strength.

Arthur awoke quite early that morning; he got out of his warm bed, pulled on some breechers and leaned against his window to watch the sun rise. He always loved sun rise, the beautiful orange and red colours lit up the sky and the birds sung their heavenly melody everything was perfect, he could forget his worries, forget his pain and just focus on the beauty of nature.

Arthur's peaceful quiet was abruptly disturbed when someone pushed open his door and slammed it behind them, as he turned round he was met by determined, blue eyes, before he could utter a word, soft, full, pink lips was on his, and he melted, like ice in summer, he melted into, he had no doubt, Merlin.

When Arthur pulled away, Merlin's eyes were still tightly shut, his lashes creating shadows on his cheek bones. He reached up and cupped Merlin's face.

"I Love You Merlin" he uttered quietly.

"I Love You Too Arthur" Merlin Replied.

Nobody knew how long they stood there, foreheads resting against one another's and finger's entwined but they didn't care, they had each other.

Far away in a dark cave Nimueh watched, and her blood boiled, she had to break Merlin's heart, Core, cause with Merlin out of the picture she could destroy Arthur; which would alternately bring down Uther and destroy Camelot.

***********Weeks Later***********

Merlin loved Arthur and Arthur loved Merlin, but Merlin was keeping a secret from Arthur, a very big secret.

Merlin sat in his gloomy, moonlit room, cleaning Arthurs armour, he didn't mind so much but he couldn't suppress the feeling of guilt he got whenever he was with Arthur. Merlin knew all of Arthur's secrets all his feelings, all his doubt and yet he was keeping something from him, His Magic. He had to tell him, he wouldn't, couldn't, keep it from Arthur anymore.

He finished cleaning his lovers armour and headed to his chamber's determination burning like fire through his veins. He knocked on big oak doors then entered swiftly. As soon as the doors shut behind him he was pushed up against them by a lustful Arthur.

"Arth- hmmm, Arthur" Merlin tried to speak but every time he uttered a word Arthur's mouth would claim his once again, hot and sweet. He pushed him back gently, and Arthur stopped kissing him, instead stared, pupils wide, at him.

"Arthur i need to tell you something" He said breathless and a little nervously.

"What is it my love" was Arthur's reply.

"Promise me you will listen to what i have to say before you do something rash" Merlin whispered.

"I promise, now tell me, what has you all nervous" Arthur said, curios.

"I,I,I can do Magic" He said going pale " I'm a sorcerer"

Arthur burst out in hysterics "Come on Merlin, Enough with the jokes and tell me what is un-nerving you"

"No, really i am a sorcerer" Merlin said slightly annoyed "look"

Merlin uttered some foreign language, his eyes flashed gold, and the jug on the table began pouring wine into a goblet. When it was full it rested back on the table. Arthur looked on with wide, unbelieving eyes.

"YOUR A SORCERER" he screamed and Merlin winced.

"I can't believe you lied to me, and pretended to love me, just so you could take over the kingdom" He accused

"No, I would never lie to you Arthur, I Love You, and don't want to take your kingdom i just want to protect you and love you" Merlin replied desperately.

"Well you did lie to me Merlin, You lied to me about everything, Get out, leave Camelot and never return, or i will kill you" Arthur said red faced with anger.

"B-But you said you loved me, and i love you, i can't just leave you" Merlin cried.

"Then i will have you killed, i don't love you Merlin, i HATE you, now get out of my sight" Arthur screamed, eyes brimming with tears of hurt and pain.

Merlin ran, and ran and ran till he couldn't run no more. 'I don't love you Merlin, I HATE you' is all that went through his head and his heart and core broke and he collapsed to the ground in the court yard.

**Oh no is Merlin dead? Find out in the next chapter. Thanks for reading and sorry it took so long to post, been busy with my music work atm, performing a 2 minute song for the first time in front of a brand new class is quite nerve racking and takes some practice, anyway hope you enjoyed. Please Review. Thank You XD**


	4. Evil Angel

**This Chapter is dedicated to ****LadyFromPoland****. Thank you for your constant reviews, they are very much appreciated. Enjoy.**

**Evil Angel**

It was late and Merlin still wasn't home, Gaius was getting worried. All of a sudden the door to his chamber burst open and in rushed two guards carrying...'Oh dear lord' Gaius thought 'It's MERLIN'.

"We found him lying on the ground in the court yard, we have no idea what happened to him, but he doesn't appear to have any wounds" said one of the guards.

"Put him down over there" Gaius said as he pointed to his makeshift bed in the corner.

The guards laid him down carefully, and made their way back to their posts reluctantly.

Merlin was well known around the castle, he had lots of friends and many people cared for him, guards and knights included.

Gaius rushed to his wards side, checking him for any wounds or bruising, when he found none he stood back, befuddled.

At that moment the Lady Morgana rushed in followed shortly by Gwen.

"Is he alright Gaius? What's wrong with him?" they questioned

"I Don't know, he doesn't have any injuries or bruising for him to be in a comer.

'_My Core is my heart. It is very unheard of even in the magical world' 'The only way to fully kill a sorcerer is to destroy ones core'... 'So to kill you all it takes is for someone to break your heart'... 'Or pierce it but basically yeah'. _Snippets of Morgana's previous conversation with Merlin returned to her and suddenly everything made sense. She rushed from the room, leaving Gwen's and Gaius' shouts behind her, as she rushed to Arthur's chambers.

When she reached them she burst in without knocking, making Arthur jump.

"What did you do" She screamed.

"What are you talking about Morgana" Was Arthur's confused reply.

"I finally convince Merlin to admit his feelings to you, and you... What did you do!" Morgana quietened her voice, cause although she was angry she was not stupid.

"HE'S A SORCERER, MORGANA!" Arthur shouted

"SO, HE LOVES YOU, HE PROTECTS YOU-"

"Wait you knew" Arthurs voice was deadly quiet, almost a distrustful whisper. "you knew and you didn't tell me"

"Well it doesn't matter now, does it" Morgana said defeated and exhausted.

"What's that supposed to mean" was Arthur's worried reply.

"Merlin's in a comer, you broke his heart Arthur, His core, soon he will die, and it's all your fault, why didn't you just listen to him, let him explain, comfort him, i did, it wasn't that hard"

"Wait, what?, core? Tell me everything Morgana, tell me all he told you"

And so she did, and Arthur listened intently, slowly processing everything he was told, by end he felt Guilty, ever so guilty.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Arthur couldn't build up the courage to go and see Merlin, not after what he had done and said to Merlin. He couldn't go to him knowing it's his fault that Merlin will die; all because of his stupid pride.

The whole castle now knew about Merlin and his unknown comer induced state. It had been a whole day since Morgana told him everything, and he felt lonely.

Arthur was brought from his thoughts by a knock on the door.

"Come in" he shouted and in walked the Kings squire.

"You father requires your presence in the great hall immediately Sire" he said his head low in a bow.

"Tell my father i will be there shortly" he said as he pulled on his boots.

The squire bowed and left, the doors slamming heavily, like they did two days before, after Arthur had sent Merlin away.

i stood there, feeling miniscule in comparison to the big oak doors that stood tall in front of me, i straightened my shift and combed my hair with my fingers before pushing open the doors with little effort.

Father was sat in his usual chair at the top end of the hall, Morgana on his left, knights and guards, splayed out around the hall, all was in order, all with the acceptance of a woman stood in the centre of the hall, her head bowed in greeting. I walked forward slowly, pride filling my every step and stopped beside her.

"Father, you called for me" I said unaware of the piercing green eyes that peeked a look at me as i stopped beside beautiful young woman.

"We have a visitor i wish to introduce you to" he said his eyes never leaving the young form beside me.

The beautiful girl turned to me, her dress following her like love sick admirers.

"Angel Therethorn of Heatherland" She introduced, her emerald eyes staring straight into my sapphire ones. I never lowered my gaze as i bowed to her in welcome.

"Prince Arthur Pendragon" I said proudly, as she curtseyed still never lowering her gaze." Welcome to Camelot"

"Now the introductions have been made i would like you, Arthur, to show Lady Angel to her chambers on the east side of the castle.

I finally tore my gaze away from her as i turned and bowed to my father, took her hand and guided her through the castle to her chambers.

"I hope everything is to your liking and satisfaction Milady" i said

She looked at me and smiled "Yes, thank you my lord"

"A servant will be sent to escort you to the feast later on, i hope you enjoy your stay" i said politely before turning and leaving swiftly. I didn't know what it was but something about the new visitor made me uncomfortable.

The Prince left quickly the door closing with a click behind him. i relaxed and went over to the mirror.

"This is going to be too easy" I laughed as i let my facade slip a little, so my blond hair and blue eyes returned, but only for a second.

**Sorry for the very late reply but i honestly was stuck on this chapter. I also apologise for the shortness of this chapter too, but i promise a extra long chapter soon **** hope you enjoy **


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